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This psychology formula predicts with 94% ACCURACY if your relationship will last



In this video, I discuss the findings of Gottman’s 1994 study on which couples stay together and which end up divorcing, looking specifically at the 4 ingredients of a poor relationship and the golden ratio of relationships. Finally, I explore some of Gottman’s tips for how to maximize the golden relationship ratio in your own relationship.

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Find more information about Gottman’s research:

#psychology #formula #predicts #ACCURACY #relationship

Some Toughts (50)

  1. Avatar
    added on 17 Aug, 2020
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    This was very helpful! Thank you!

  2. Avatar
    added on 17 Aug, 2020
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    Finna be in a relationship with her instead 🤣

  3. Avatar
    added on 19 Aug, 2020
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    works with friends too lol

  4. Avatar
    added on 19 Aug, 2020
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    It's funny how everyone is saying how this made them realize they were the issue. This made me realize I really wasn't the problem

  5. Avatar
    added on 19 Aug, 2020
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    lmao my parents are 5:1 but negative:positive 🥴

  6. Avatar
    added on 23 Aug, 2020
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    Great content Ana! You kept it very easy to digest.

  7. Avatar
    added on 23 Aug, 2020
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    Wow I just realised that my last relationship had all 4 horsemen of the apocalypse and very severely but I've let her go and am very happy now. Happiest I've been in years.

    If you're in a toxic relationship, LET GO. It is not worth it. I waited a year to end it and all it did was have a negative impact on me.

    I will look out for these before I engage in anything. Very helpful. Thank you!!

  8. Avatar
    added on 25 Aug, 2020
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    Is there a part 2????

  9. Avatar
    added on 26 Aug, 2020
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    Hi Ana, thank you for the free information. Really helpful. But I think anything excess the 5 to 1 ratio is not better like you said in the video. According to Jordan Peterson, to much positive interaction will make people bored, get entitle and start looking for new challenge. What do you think about it?

  10. Avatar
    added on 27 Aug, 2020
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    You are absolutely amazing. I love this video. I’ll be rewatching this so many more times to come 😊
    You must have saved so many relationships by now, I hope you can help save one more 🙏🏻

  11. Avatar
    added on 27 Aug, 2020
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    This differs with narcs. Narcs never forgive regardless of the positives. They keep track of the negatives on a score board as ammunition later.

  12. Avatar
    added on 27 Aug, 2020
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    Imma probably be single forever, what am i doing here?

  13. Avatar
    added on 28 Aug, 2020
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    Thank you very much for sharing that! It is very eye opening!

  14. Avatar
    added on 28 Aug, 2020
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    The Four Horsemen of Apocalypse (Early divorce: First 5 years)
    1. Criticism
    2. Contempt
    3. Defensiveness
    4. Stonewalling

    Later divorce: Anger and emotional withdrawal

    5:1 Golden ratio for a relationship (Try to make it as large as possible, example: 1000:1) (Postive and negative interactions)

    -> How many good days compared to how many good days?

    Positive Interactions: Be interested in your partner, Express affection, Show them they matter, Intentional appreciation, Find opportunities for agreement, Accept their perspective,
    Empathize, Apologize, Make jokes

  15. Avatar
    added on 29 Aug, 2020
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    Do you know whether there has been any recent replications of the 1994 study? Because of the replication crisis I'm always hesitant to trust such overwhelmingly positive findings from social psychology studies that were published before 2014

  16. Avatar
    added on 31 Aug, 2020
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    Is it still contempt if you know your friend is a bit of a slow thinker but you don't hold it against them? If so does that mean you're only supposed to interact with people as smart as you are?

  17. Avatar
    added on 4 Sep, 2020
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    You are so beautiful.

  18. Avatar
    added on 7 Sep, 2020
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    for stonewalling, i will add this:

    it’s perfectly fine and actually recommended for you to step away when you need it. you can’t fight ever battle, sometimes you need time to cool. my girlfriend and i took a break from talking for a day (because of my own mental health), and we came back better. then after a week or two, we got into a big fight, and we took a week break for both of us. and we started talking again. once more, things are stronger and better. (yes, we did talk it out. don’t ignore your issues).

    the difference is that you should let your partner know why you’re stepping away or communicate the idea of stepping away. don’t go MIA (which is what stonewalling is). give them notice and an explanation.

  19. Avatar
    added on 8 Sep, 2020
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    “It’s your fault I sent a 🍆 pic to your best friend not mine”. Yeah no wonder we didn’t last (he literally sent to my best friend just to f*** with me and blamed it on me when I confronted him about it)

  20. Avatar
    added on 9 Sep, 2020
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    Welp, my relationship has all 4, looks like we’re splitting up

  21. Avatar
    added on 9 Sep, 2020
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    I can Simp for you.

  22. Avatar
    added on 9 Sep, 2020
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    I always knew its going downhill
    11 years 😟

  23. Avatar
    added on 10 Sep, 2020
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    Isn’t there something that having ONLY positive interactions is actually not good either?

  24. Avatar
    added on 11 Sep, 2020
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    Subscribed!

  25. Avatar
    added on 11 Sep, 2020
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    thank you for this!! i was really worried because i wasn’t sure if things were going okay with me and my girlfriend and this quelled all of my worries <3

  26. Avatar
    added on 13 Sep, 2020
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    Me evaluating my current relationship v. My previous toxic relationship
    Also me: wow based on this, my relationship right now is pretty healthy and great 😄😃

  27. Avatar
    added on 13 Sep, 2020
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    I've given up on dating, I have a 100% streak of woman cheating on me within 2 weeks of dating and I'm 33. Apparently I'm too nice, go figure.

  28. Avatar
    added on 13 Sep, 2020
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    This is all what my ex did. I kicked him out

  29. Avatar
    added on 13 Sep, 2020
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    All of these were in my last relationship and it’s opened my eyes to how dysfunctional it was

  30. Avatar
    added on 14 Sep, 2020
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    This was great information. Thank you!

  31. Avatar
    added on 14 Sep, 2020
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    I could be wrong, but I believe there’s also a cap of 11:1. So, if there are more than 11 positive interactions for every negative one, this is also a sign of failure

  32. Avatar
    added on 14 Sep, 2020
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    The Golden Relationship Ratio.

  33. Avatar
    added on 14 Sep, 2020
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    can i use your face for white balance?

  34. Avatar
    added on 15 Sep, 2020
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    I think it's important to understand that all of these signs are manifestations of some underlying issue.
    Usually things like lack of self esteem, insecurities, lack of confidence
    These signs are predictor for successful relationships but that does not mean that simply stopping them will make your relationship healthy if you haven't solved the underlying problem it will inevitably manifest in some other way.
    So if you recognize some of these things try not to focus so much and the actual behavior but on the why
    Also most people do this stuff subconsciously and don't actually understand why they do these things and will then make something up when you confront them about it
    Not even knowingly that's just how the human brain works everyone does it, it's very hard to understand yourself
    So it might take quite a bit of work to get to the bottom of these issues.

  35. Avatar
    added on 15 Sep, 2020
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    «  you know i love the planet «  😂

  36. Avatar
    added on 16 Sep, 2020
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    My wife stonewalls more so much. I criticize her just as much. This was helpful. Great video.

  37. Avatar
    added on 16 Sep, 2020
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    Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 years, I do all of the negative that she listed and most of the positive (not all of it). I used to not do anything of the negative list during our first year but we had an issue that sort of changed me. Things are good now and we definitely plan on being together long term but I just can’t seem to get out of this toxic mindset and I know it’s not fair for him. Even though I’m aware sometimes emotions just drive me to the negative and it’s totally selfish. I basically can’t get over what he did (he didn’t cheat but was something not very nice) and I act selfish based on it even though it was a while ago. Any advice to stop being selfish before I ruin the whole thing? 🙁 he’s an awesome guy

  38. Avatar
    added on 16 Sep, 2020
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    I would suspect milder versions of the four horsemen would be in relationships even before commitment has taken place. There would be signs of this in dating , they would be subtle or disguised.

    I often wish I had a friend in psychology as I love discussing ideas like this.

  39. Avatar
    added on 16 Sep, 2020
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    My parents do all of these and are still together after 25 years.. needless to say I had a terrible childhood lmao. I hoped for a long time they would separate forever and they never did. And I’m pretty sure they don’t like each other. It’s weird..

  40. Avatar
    added on 17 Sep, 2020
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    Or the person is abusive so it won't last

  41. Avatar
    added on 17 Sep, 2020
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    This is Gold !

  42. Avatar
    added on 17 Sep, 2020
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    I’ve been in a relationship for a year now, I feel so emotionally disconnected. I tried to talk to him last night about breaking up but obviously it didn’t go well. I just don’t feel in love anymore that way from things he has done to me. It’s hard to end it 🙁

  43. Avatar
    added on 17 Sep, 2020
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    Wow, I'm guilty of stonewalling and I didn't even know that it was a thing!! lol…crazy. sometimes it's easier to ignore the other person than to try and communicate effectively with them….sigh

  44. Avatar
    added on 17 Sep, 2020
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    you might be misguided in stating that 100 to 1 is better than 5 to 1. there WAS an ideal range in the study, not a linear slope of direct correlation. I think the ideal pairing was 10 to 1? i dont know. but at some point having too many positive interactions has side effects.

  45. Avatar
    added on 18 Sep, 2020
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    My partner surprised me with chicken nuggets yesterday. I think we’re gonna be alright 👌🏻

  46. Avatar
    added on 18 Sep, 2020
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    99 percent of relationships fail…sorry to ruin it for you

  47. Avatar
    added on 18 Sep, 2020
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    queen

  48. Avatar
    added on 18 Sep, 2020
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    It's my understanding that near total lack of conflict is not a good sign. Occasional conflict is a good sign. Obviously, the caveat being that these conflicts should be resolved in a healthy manner.

  49. Avatar
    added on 18 Sep, 2020
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    Gentlemen the times have changed drastically according to her research from 1994. Criminal, family, and divorce courts are in favor with females. Research the MGTOW/RedPill community online. Also, Look up YT channels such as Coach Greg Adams, Cassie Jaye (The Red Pill Documentary), Warren Ferrell, ThinkingApe, Sandman, Ava Brighton and CalrissianthaGod. Stay woke and be careful. Males are better off being single and not marrying! Look at Dr. Dre, Will SmIth, Cesar Millan, Neslon Mandela, and other males who got shafted in court or in marriage. PROVERBS CHAPTER 5.

  50. Avatar
    added on 19 Sep, 2020
    Reply

    Golden ratio : Stay single.

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